Why: Enough-ness

Do you ever think about why you do what you do?  What drove you to choose the career you are in? What makes you tick?  What motivates you to wake up every morning and go “to work”?  Back in my acting days, I will never forget a casting director teaching a class lead with, “if there is anything else you can do, DO IT!”  He was saying this because entertainment is such a hard life and profession, and he was trying to save everyone in the room some misery if there was misery to be saved.  It was actually very kind of him to impart that advice.  At the time, I couldn’t imagine doing anything except acting – I loved the cameras, playing different people, getting into character, I especially loved the stage and the live audiences. But, as yoga came into my life, and I loved that more and more and more, acting became less and less my focus until one day, there was something else I could do – something I loved and had an incredible amount of passion for – teaching yoga.

Why?  If you know my yoga story, I happened into my first class quite by accident, but fell head over heels in love – hard and fast.  My first class was a 10:30am Saturday power flow, taught by an INCREDIBLE instructor who has since moved out of NYC, named Kate Greer.  Her enthusiasm and “you can do it” attitude touched me to my core, and made every fiber of my being need to know more about “this yoga thing”. I purchased the new person three month unlimited membership at that studio, and I went every day – sometimes to three classes a day (not an exaggeration). At this particular studio, the teachers often led with a dharma talk.  One day, one of the teachers started to talk about how in yoga, YOU ARE ENOUGH.  Now, this hit me like a ton of bricks.  What?  I had been in an industry for as long as I could remember where I was never enough.  In acting, you are never thin enough, pretty enough, tall enough, short enough (for the short leading man), funny enough, serious enough, deep enough, your gums are too high (a real critique I once received), the list goes on.  To hear that in this world, that I was enough, exactly as I was, simply by existing was mind blowing.

To be sure, I did not go from feeling “not enough” after getting told my entire lifetime that I wasn’t, to feeling like “I am enough” over night.  This change of perspective and belief is a slow shift, but even the possibility of it being true is enough for me to continue to try to share this belief with others – THIS was an idea I wanted to shout from the roof tops, and do my very best to incorporate into every class I teach.  It is no surprise that my favorite SoulCycle instructor often ends class by reminding us all to take a moment of gratitude “for all the things you have, not all the things you don’t.”  The reminders to look at all of the abundance in our lives, and to be grateful for that, to remember that what we have is enough, to realize that even without all of our trappings and fancy things, we are enough, simply by existing, is an incredible, powerful piece of knowledge. And, WOW, do I ever want my girls to know how ENOUGH they are, and how much they are loved.  Just as we all are loved – we are all children of the Universe – that is more than enough.

With my girls now here, and trying to figure out where I want to spend my time, the “why” of what I do has become ever more important for me.  Happily, upon examining why I do what I do, why I teach the way I teach, and what I teach, I have found all of my passion is still in the yoga realm, and I still have a burning desire to share the amazing gifts and knowledge that yoga has given me with others.  While I did make the shift to CrossFlowX a year and a half ago (more on the why of that class in another post!), I did continue to teach all of my private clients, and the attendees on my retreats “regular” yoga, and am now contemplating going back to a once a week straight yoga offering (I have faith the perfect time and place will appear when I am ready).

In the meantime, I would love it if you could share in the comments section: WHY you do what you do.  Do you know that you are enough? Is this a hard concept for you?  Do you know why?  I would love to hear your thoughts.  Please share.  I know you are enough, I hope you do, too.

Love and Light,

Heidi

Xoxo