New Blog Series: the Path to PandA
If you follow me on any of my social medias, you know: my babies are here!
They came much earlier than anticipated, the delivery did not go as I had hoped, imagined, or planned… speaking of not going as planned, nothing in my pregnancy went as planned, so really, my journey to parenthood was one enormous yoga practice.
But know this: at the end of it all, I ended up with the greatest prize imaginable: a love so great and so deep that there are not enough words in any language to describe it. Now, six weeks in to having my babies outside in this world, I still stare at them in wonderment and think, “They are mine! They will be mine forever! I get to love these two amazing humans with all of my heart forever and ever.”
My journey all started two days after getting the green light to practice yoga again after having surgery on my wrist (after MONTHS of not being able to bear weight on my hands – something I derive an enormous amount of pleasure from- I was SO excited to get back to my beloved arm balances and inversions practice); I got a call from my doctor saying, “Congratulations! You are pregnant!” At the time, I was actually meditating on it, but I broke my cardinal rule of meditation, and had my phone next to me, because I was waiting on that phone call, and a little spark of hope inside me knew that I was going to get good news. I know everyone says it about pregnancy, but a woman does just know – it’s really no more complex than that.
I was elated. This was something I had been dreaming about for quite some time. My journey to getting pregnant, as I have alluded to in the past, was not an easy one. My preferred incredibly active lifestyle left my body rather thin, muscular, and with very little body fat – not the kind of body that allows itself to get pregnant. In order for a fetus to thrive, for a woman to grow another being, she needs body fat – the growing baby requires lots and lots of nutrients. So, after meeting with several traditional and non-traditional doctors and healers, everyone’s consensus was: you need to gain weight; a LOT of it.
Now, lots of people have poked fun at me, saying, “oh, poor you, you HAVE to gain weight”. But, the truth of the matter was, that was not something comfortable for me, actually, the thought of “getting fat” was pretty close to terrifying for me. It meant letting go of a lot of control that I was exerting over my body – control that I had kept for about a decade. I also loved the body I was in, and I wasn’t exactly excited to change it. After a year and a half of trying and struggling to gain weight, with the help of multiple amazing nutritionists, healers, doctors and friends (it DOES take a village), I finally hit the number that everyone seemed to agree I needed to be. It was that week that I got the call that I was pregnant. I guess those health professionals actually know what they are talking about ;)
I mentioned this happened right after I got a green light to practice on my newly healed wrist… There went all of my dreams of arm balancing and hand standing to my heart’s content. All those things are fine for pregnancy in moderation for a yogi who has consistently been practicing them, I have been told. But there was no way I was jeopardizing my pregnancy just for the thrill of arm balancing and hand standing. Of course, I practiced the ones that felt safe and good (no side crows here!), but, my pregnancy really put a dampener on my physical asana yoga practice, even though getting back into it after months off for my wrist was SO what I wanted to do. I learned to be softer, and do what was right for my baby.
THEN, I found out there was more than one! And, all of a sudden, my pregnancy was classified as “high risk”, and I was hit with what felt like a textbook full of restrictions on my activities and life. Another tough pill to swallow, but again, I was never going to risk the health of my babies for a short-term thrill or happiness. I vowed to myself a long, long time ago that if and when I decided to become a parent, I would do so when I was 1000% ready to put my children first, and that is what I intended to do with my pregnancy, because really, you become a parent as a woman the second you have a baby growing inside of you.
I plan on doing a blog series about all of the ups and downs of my pregnancy, a bit on getting there, and, of course, the after: navigating parenthood through yoga, and getting back my physical practice. I hope that in sharing my experience, any one recovering from an injury or going a major life change, women on their journey to get pregnant, or those working to make peace with their bodies post baby, can relate, and know that she or he is not alone. Please leave your comments below. I would love to hear from you – your experiences, or what you would like to see in a future blog post.
Why the title? If you don’t already know, please stay tuned to find out!
Love and Light,
Heidi
Glad to hear everyone is doing so well now! I’m due in 4 weeks, and I definitely cut back on yoga. However, I still do a lot of stretching and vinyasas that feel good in addition to lots and lots of walking. :)
Congratulations, Cassie!! Hope you continue to feel good :) Xx, Heidi
<3
<3
Thanks for sharing :)
<3 <3
:D Thanks for this! I can’t wait for more!
Thanks, Andrea :)
this is amazing you are amazing heidi!!! I work with pregnant women everyday, their stories are so amazing and being a mom is such a wonderful blessing! Can’t wait to read about your journey both good and hard times (mostly good though!) :) congrats!
Thanks so much, Joanna! Hope all is great with you! Xx, Heidi
Can’t wait for more on this blog. I have a beautiful 5 month old baby girl that is the light of my life. My pregnancy was considered “high risk” in the first trimester and was pretty difficult throughout. My labor and delivery was my worst case scenario ending in an emergency c-section and my baby going to NICU for 24 hours. Then I was unable to produce enough milk to exclusively breastfeed which was another unexpected downfall. But in the end I have this bundle of love that is happy and healthy! <3
Congratulations on your beautiful baby girl, Jennifer! Thank you for sharing – it is so difficult when things don’t go the way we hope for our babies, and the NICU is tough, but it sounds like you are doing an amazing job, so hooray for you and your baby girl! Everything happens for a reason; no matter how hard it can be to see the reason in the moment, we hopefully can reflect back at some point and see it then. Xx, Heidi
Love it! Ill def be following, so happy for you guys xoxo
Thanks so much, Noelle!! Xoxo
My baby girl was also born in July and I was practicing yoga with your pregnancy series all the time. I loved it and more than that. It kept me fit, left me with no back or whatsoever pain in the entire pregnancy and prevented that I gained more weight than absolutly necessary. I can’t wait to start my recovery with you. I really hope you will upload some after baby body workouts. Thanks for everything!
Congratulations, Julia!! I will be uploading “get your body back” routines in the very near future – just want to be sure I am all healed before doing any core work. So thrilled you did my Qinetic prenatal series – thank you – excited for the flip side :) Xx, Heidi
Hi Heidi, thanks for sharing, can’t wait to read more! I remember you said you did a lot of hip-opening moves in preparation for the delivery, and I’d love some suggestions of yoga poses to do the same!
Xo, Julie
Will do – thanks so much, Julie :) And, congratulations!! Xo, Heidi
Hi Heidi – I’m looking forward to keeping up with your journey. Thanks for sharing. (Who ever would have guessed you and I would be almost simultaneously stepping into mama-hood. Kinda cool ;) )
Jenn!!! Thank you :) I need all of your new mama tips! You make everything look effortless. Sending you and your whole fam oodles of love. Xoxox
Congrats on your beautiful babies!! Thinking of you! Practicing yoga with you seems like a lifetime ago- but some of the best times!!! Xo
Blair!! Thank you! Yes- it does seem a lifetime ago, and yes, some wonderful times! How are you and your amazing family?! How is mommy-life for you?! Miss you!!! Xoxoxox
So nice to read along!
I also just became a mom (about 5 weeks ago), what a wonderful experience.
I just wrote a blogpost about my first week as a mom
http://mamilena.com/10-lessons-of-a-one-week-mom/
Thanks, Milena! Congratulations!! Xx
Hi Heidi,
Congratulations! I have been following your instagram so I was so happy when you announced your babies were there :) I also had a hard time getting pregnant and me & my husband worked for it for 2+years, including rounds of counseling & hormone pills, then unsuccessful IUI, and finally got pregnant with IVF, which also led me to have OHSS . (And I had THREE fluid extraction surgery for that during my first few weeks of pregnancy!!) But with all that said, you are so right about that we just know when that good news comes to us. Even with that painful condition, I sort of knew I was pregnant, because it was right around my BD and I thought something miracle would happen ;) I am so looking forward to hear more of your story!
Hi Ayaka! Oh, thank you!! Wow, it’s amazing how many women go through so much to get our little miracles. It definitely makes us strong mommies <3 I am so thrilled for you that after all of your hard work, faith and dedication, you got your desired outcome! Congratulations to you, amazing mama! Xxxx
Hi heidi, i am one of your fans. I’m 5 month pregnant, it’s a boy. When i heard you r pregnant too, i got relaxed. I had a beautiful body before, Hope to have it back after delivery. Sorry for my poor english grammer. I’m from Iran.
Congratulations! How exciting! I will be doing everything I can to figure out the very best regimen to get post baby body in tip top shape and feeling great as soon as possible – stay tuned! Xx, Heidi
Heidi, I accidentally found your video after missing my regular studio yoga time. I found your story inspirational and I’m so glad that you’re sharing it with the world. I struggled with infertility for a year. I worked with multiple healers and infertility specialists. After getting pregnant the first time, I lost the baby and surprisingly got pregnant (naturally) within a month. I feel like our stories of fertility struggles are important to share because it opens the dialogue that not every woman has a simple cut and dry pregnancy journey.
Hi Christine, So glad you found me, and thank you so much for sharing. I couldn’t agree with you more – it can be a long, difficult struggle for many women to get pregnant and stay pregnant- having an open dialogue to allow for sharing and support is incredibly important. Congratulations to you!